Wild Life Of A Little Monster

Others are scared of me because of all the fun I have. Considered a vigilante by my Eponine.

A Day In The Life

The following was an e-mail forwarded to me. It made me chuckle enough that I knew it was blog worthy. If you haven't already received it, I bet someone will forward the e-mail to you in the next day or two. It's likely making the rounds.
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As seen in a dog's diary:

7 am - Oh boy! A walk! My favorite!
8 am - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9 am - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!
Noon - Oh boy! The yard! My favorite!

2 pm - Oh boy! A car ride! My favorite!
3 pm - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!
4 pm - Oh boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
6 pm - Oh boy! Welcome home Mom! My favorite!
7 pm - Oh boy! Welcome home Dad! My favorite!
8 pm - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9 pm - Oh boy! Tummy rubs on the couch! My favorite!
11 pm - Oh boy! Sleeping in my people's bed! My favorite!
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As seen in a cat's diary:

-Day 183 of my captivity... My captors continued to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal.
-The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from clawing the furniture.
-Tomorrow I may eat another house plant. Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded - must try this at the top of the stairs.
-In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair - must try this on their bed.
-Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable, and try to strike fear in their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan.
-There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More important, I overheard that my confinement was due to my powers of inducing "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.
-I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit.
-The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured.
-I can wait; it is only a matter of time.

6 Comments:

At March 02, 2006 6:30 PM, Blogger Les Trois Chats said...

OMG - so, so true.

~ tammara

 
At March 03, 2006 8:18 AM, Blogger Edsel/The Pooch said...

hahahahahaha
so what 'bout Norton?

 
At March 03, 2006 9:57 AM, Blogger The Meezers said...

OMG - they read Norton's diary! We have long had the belief that for the past almost 18 years, Norton has been trying to either escape or kill us. Escaping is out of the question as he is afraid of the outside, so killing was his only other means. He almost succeeded with the allergy thing.

 
At March 03, 2006 1:43 PM, Blogger Kukka-Maria said...

Hilarious...and so very true!

 
At March 03, 2006 3:30 PM, Blogger Eponine's Cowboy said...

Surely you're three aren't trying to "kill" you, are they tammara? Or do we know for sure? :)

Edsel-these diary entries are pretty funny. And did you mean Nelson? The dude I saw last night? He had HUGE feet and a small body and is three years old. Good guy. I wasn't convinced he was picking me, but we sure had fun.

Or did you mean Meezers' Norton?

Oh, Meezers, you better sleep with one eye open. If you vanish, I'll be sure to tell them that Norton shoud be the first interrogated.

kukka-maria-So true that you're also out to kill a human? Is that an admission? ;~)

 
At March 03, 2006 8:05 PM, Blogger Edsel/The Pooch said...

yup, Nelson, i was half asleep...so he didn't pick you? tuxedos are awfully nice....

 

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